I was checking out an article about Premature Ejaculation on the AskMen site – suspiciously written by a woman – and it occurred to me that while the piece mentions plenty of ways to deal with it after the fact, there was no mention of how to prevent premature ejaculation so that you don’t need to deal with it!
I have to begin by saying that the site is called AskMen, and while I obviously support the equality of women in male dominated industries, it seems a little ridiculous to have a female writer offering advice on male sex issues – unless it is from a woman’s perspective. This is about as relevant as me discussing how women should feel about vaginal dryness! I don’t have one, so I wouldn’t begin to try to tell women how they should feel about it! By all means offer thoughts on what women might think in response to this, but please don’t patronize men and tell them how they should feel about it.
That aside, the methods of “dealing with it” offered in the piece are common sense responses that anyone could pick out of the ether and present as viable options, but there is no mention of the methods men could use to prevent premature ejaculation in the first place. I thought it might be worth mentioning a few here, so that perhaps you can prevent premature ejaculation before you need to go to read through tips on how to just “laugh it off” when – or if – it happens.
It’s generally accepted that many young men experience premature ejaculation in their teenage years, when they are first experiencing sex. This is simply due to the level of excitement and the lack of skills to prolong the experience and hold back. Any man who has masturbated (which is all of us) knows that once the urge to climax occurs it is extremely difficult to deny it and stop before it happens.
There are methods you can use to train yourself to better control your orgasm, and edging is one of the most effective. This is simply the act of masturbating until you feel the pleasure rising, and then stopping yourself before climax. Doing this repeatedly not only helps you to control the pleasure and develop new methods of delaying climax with sexual experiences with others, but it also increases the eventual climax and can dramatically increase the pleasure and power of both your orgasm and ejaculation when you allow it.
Practice makes perfect, and you have the equipment readily available to practice this in private every day until you are a master at denying the climax and controlling the orgasm.
Yes, we are a big proponent of toys at Mens Sex Advisor. They’re not only fun, their varied sensations and styles also allow men to learn to hold back the climax resulting from vastly different sensations. I once knew a guy who could last for an hour in traditional intercourse, but shot off like a firework within thirty seconds of a blowjob. By using different toys during masturbation he was able to learn how to control his climax whether he was penetrating his partner or being orally pleasured.
There are a lot of very cheap toys out there these days able to offer all kinds of different sensations with varying degrees of pleasure from each. Using a collection of toys to “train” yourself to hold it back can assist you greatly when enjoying sex acts with others, and will help you to deal with all kinds of different pleasures in the bedroom more effectively.
Yes, it’s true that guys watch a lot of porn, but contrary to anecdotal suggestions by feminists and right-wingers who will use whatever excuse, in the vast majority of cases watching porn does not harm a man’s views or opinions of sex or their partners. There is no evidence to suggest that enjoying a fantasy played out on a screen “warps” men’s minds any more than we can blame Marilyn Manson for distorting the views of teenagers through listening to his music, or that teens are more violent thanks to Hollywood. This is a nonsense.
Enjoy porn, enjoy fantasies, and use them as a means to develop control over your own body when you don’t have someone there. You wouldn’t try to sing in front of an audience before you’ve practised, and sex can be viewed in the same way. Use whatever tools you have at your disposal to better understand your body’s responses and be able to control them more effectively.
As has perhaps been hinted at in the original piece linked, the stress related to premature ejaculation – or any other scenario such as temporary impotence – can lead to more problems. This is one thing the writer of that piece was right about. But, this comes down to the response of your partner and your reaction to that response. Do you REALLY want to have sexual relations with a person who will make you feel bad about something as meaningless as this? So what, you cum a little too early, you were excited, that should be a compliment if anything! Your partner is so hot and they got you so turned on you couldn’t hold back! How is that such a terrible thing?
If your partner causes you distress or tries to make you feel guilty about a momentary thing like this, it might not be you that is the problem – kick them to the curb and find someone who won’t be an ass-hole over something so fleeting.
So there we have it, a few simple things you can do to ease the premature ejaculation problem before it becomes a problem you need to excuse. And if it does happen, watch the response of your partner carefully, is that who you want to continue having sexual relations with?
Premature climax is a small problem for most, but there are ways to deal with it and improve the situation if you want to. And for those out there who’s partners are not happy, consider whether they are the right person to be sharing your body with in the first place.