Think back to your teenage years and consider your sexual encounters. Ever watch porn with a friend? Ever have a sneaky wank while a mate was in the room? Was it particularly uncomfortable or “gay“?
Now consider the male friends you currently have. Are they anything like the friendships you had back then?
While researching for my book “Seven Pints – Self-Identified heterosexual men and the Male/Male Mutual Masturbation fetish” I quickly discovered that the majority of men sought a close friendship with other men, and that this activity being shared was somehow viewed as the “indicator” of that closeness.
While the evidence shows that many heterosexual men have a fetish for masturbation, it also shows that this fetish extends to viewing other men enjoying their masturbation too.
For instance, 76% of the heterosexual men asked believe that it is acceptable to watch another male masturbating.
51% believe that Masturbating another man is okay too.
When we look at these statistics, it’s clear to men that many men view sexual activities between male friends far differently than society currently portrays. And this leads us into a quandary…
If so many men would like to have a close friendship, and so many men have a fetish for viewing male masturbation, how do we accomplish this given that our societal perceptions label all activities like this as indicators of homosexuality?
This falsehood of an activity defining your sexuality is a severe stumbling block when we consider engaging in this activity. You may desperately want a male friend to enjoy your masturbation with, but how do you achieve that when the expectation to view it as gay is so strong? If your close male friend suggested it what would you say? What are you expected to say? And would you allow that expectation to overpower your desire to accept the invitation?
There are a few things that became absolutely clear when I wrote Seven Pints.
Only 15% of the heterosexual men asked stated categorically that they would decline the opportunity to masturbate with a male friend, but then 94% admitted that they probably would at some time engage in a sexual activity with another male. So there are a few who would only engage in such an activity with a stranger. So the assumption that most men wouldn’t engage in such an activity is clearly incorrect.
I hope, with your help, to continue the research in this area and to fully explore what heterosexual men would and would not like to do in the company of their friends. I hope you’ll take part wherever you can by responding to surveys and questions on this site. Maybe together we can redefine what male friendship is, and ultimately find the male friendships we so desperately need in our adult lives.
For more on this, please check out Seven Pints.